Right where I need to be

Have you ever had the feeling that you are right where you need to be? What a reassuring feeling! I know for so long I questioned some decisions that I have made as to whether they were the right ones or not, but I have had the overwhelming feeling lately that this is the path that God created for me. As most of you know I have my Bachelor's degree in Communication Sciences and Disorders to which I decided not to go on and work on my Master's (You HAVE to have your Master's to do anything in that field). I just didn't feel God leading me in that direction and at that time I began managing at a steakhouse here in town. Let me tell you that I was PRAYING that the restaurant business wasn't what He had planned for Taylor and I, but at the time I knew that's where I needed to be. When Taylor and I were first married, we had the opportunity to work together serving tables at this same restaurant. I think that experience led us to realize how well we can work together and that if we both set our minds to a project there is no stopping us! Taylor has always had a passion for photography and has always wanted to have his own studio one day. As for me, I thought that I would help him run the office side of the studio while allowing me to stay at home with our kids. I never in a million years thought that I would be photographing weddings WITH Taylor and now beginning to build a portfolio for Kid's Photography! Don't get me wrong, I'm NO where near as experienced as Taylor, but I'm learning and I think that if I keep working on it I can be successful at photography. Here are a few of the pictures that I took at a wedding Taylor and I shot this past weekend:

Where did May go?

I have absolutely no idea where the month of May went? I think a few days in the hospital and then a week's worth of pain killers after surgery have that affect on me! I feel awful because I have literally taken 1, yes 1 photo of Adalyn this ENTIRE month! I've been good about getting videos of her, since I have the convenience of my iPhone, but other than that I've got nothing! This next week we have a lot going on, so I'm hoping to be able to capture some of those moments! Tomorrow we are planning a quick trip down to Sheridan to visit Taylor's parents, and his grandparents are in town also! We haven't seen his grandparents for over a year, so it'll be nice to see them again and they can see how much Adalyn has grown! On Monday, Memorial Day is my 26th birthday and all I know is I get to go shopping with a friend and the rest is a surprise! I suppose God knew what he was doing when he gave us Adalyn on June 3rd, because I'm' so focused on her birthday party that I forget about mine, which is a good thing because I HATE surprises for the sole reason I don't have control of what's going on, but I LOVE surprises other than that! I'm usually bugging Taylor with a million questions and trying to figure out what he's got planned, but no time now that I've got Adalyn's party to think about!

On Friday, Taylor and I went back to the Reproductive Endocrinologist for my post surgery appointment. He said that everything is healing wonderfully and that I should be pain free! I asked him about going back to the gym and he said that I can't do BodyPump, which is a weight lifting class, for another month, but I am allowed to do just about anything else that doesn't involve the use of my abs :) I am also down to 164 pounds, which means that in the past year I've lost 32 pounds! I was looking at photos from last year and I just can't believe how different I looked! As far as fitting in my wedding dress in 70 days... I originally thought that I was 150 when I got married, but now I'm thinking I was more like 140ish. So 20 more pounds to go in 10 weeks, I can so do this!

Finally something that Taylor and I have been really struggling with these past few weeks and could really use a few prayers for. Should we have another baby? ? The Reproductive Endocrinologist told us that we should have no fertility issues whatsoever, but since the remaining uterus is half the size of a normal one, there is close to a 0% chance of me being able to carry a baby to full term. I went into labor at 31 weeks with Adalyn, because she ran out of room to grow (didn't know that at the time). We were SOOO blessed with how well she did in the NICU (breathed on her own, no oxygen, came home after only 31 days, no complications from her prematurity AT ALL) Right before Adalyn was born, the nurse wheeled me down to NICU to show us what to expect after Adalyn was born. We saw babies that were only a pound, hooked up so many different types of machines to help them breath and to feed them and to keep them warm enough and at that moment everything came into focus for me... the seriousness of prematurity and how life threatening that it can be! But after that I had to pull myself together and block that reality out to get through the next few days and even months! I had it set in my mind that nothing was going to happen to Adalyn and that God was taking care of her, and praise the Lord that He did exactly that. But knowing now what we know, should we "risk" having another child and put him or her in danger of all of those complications? Taylor keeps saying, "Just because we CAN doesn't mean that we SHOULD?" I understand that, but God blessed us with Adalyn being healthy, why wouldn't He do the same once more? I am not "set" on having a second child, because I really do love our little family and we have been abundantly blessed! We have always thought about adopting a child as well, so maybe that's something we need to consider more. Besides, we aren't planning on expanding our family anytime soon (Maybe 2 more years?) and we have plenty of time to pray about it and wait for His answer....

A Bit Overdue Posting... My apologies ;)

So I started off doing well with the whole posting regularly thing, but ya know life happens and I just didn't make time for it (not that blogging is important by any means, but I hoped to do a little better than I have). This week my little sister Katie is visiting us, which has been fun so far, and I really enjoy catching up with her! Also, I've come to the realization that little Miss. Adalyn will be turning 2 in less than a month, and let's just say I'm not handling that too well. I truly have NO IDEA where the time went, and I pray that she just slows down a little bit or something!

I also have some awesome news to share! For those of you who don't know what's been going on with me in recent months, you will just have to go back and read some of my previous blog postings, because I really don't want to explain it all again. (Re: MRI results are in & So here we go...) After Taylor and I went to the Reproductive Endocrinologist, Dr. Dean Moutos, on April 8th we found out that I needed to have yet another surgery to remove my left uterus (see you probably will want to read those previous postings I warned you about ;)). He said that he would be able to remove it laprascopically, which would be an outpatient procedure and make for an easier recovery. Well that sounded wonderful until we were also informed that I had exceeded my outpatient benefits for the year and the surgery would not be covered by our insurance! Not something that I wanted to hear! For those of you who know us well, know that we do not need any more medical bills! After talking it over with Taylor, I decided that I would TRY to wait until the benefits renewed in September. Well, I tried, but after almost 2 weeks of being in so much pain that even a ridiculous amounts of Aleve and Toradol (very strong stuff) couldn't alleviate I realized that I shouldn't/ can't live the next 6 months of my life in this much pain. I called Dr. Moutos back on Friday (in tears, I guess that always helps the situation, right?) and begged him to see if he couldn't perform a laparatomy (open incision, instead of with a scope) that way it would be considered an inpatient procedure and then be covered through insurance! Well I just got a call this morning and found out that he agreed to do it that way! I literally was skipping like a little school girl I was so happy! Better yet, the surgery is scheduled for May 12th, which is only a week away!!! I know that the recovery will be harder, but I've been through it before and I know what to expect, so that helps a lot! I have been praying about this very hard for awhile and I know that God is with me and He is taking care of me! What an awesome feeling :) Please just keep me in your prayers, as well as, the hands of the doctors that will be doing the surgery! I am so grateful for wonderful family and friends that are supporting us through this, and I thank God for you every day.

Oh one last thing! Only because I said I would hold myself accountable.... I am down 5 pounds! Yipee! Five pounds in a month isn't wonderful, but it's something! With everything that has been going on it's made it a little difficult to hit the gym regularly, but this week my sister and I are a force to be reckoned with! We are dieting and work out machines! lol I'm going to try to do the best I can up until the surgery and from there just keep it off until I'm able to really work out again. Thanks for encouragement!

A Potty Story

I'm not completely sure when my 3 pound little girl grew up to be a toddler! I really tried hard to be in denial for awhile, but it's official she has somehow become a walking, talking, and now potty training toddler! We have had a little potty for her for a few months now and on occasion she would go pee pee when placed on it, but every time I would ask her if she had to use the potty she would say "no". I didn't want to push the issue in fear that she would feel pressured into going and then not want to do it. So a few time every day I would remind her where her potty was and ask her if she needed to go and every time I got the same response until today!

Since little Miss. Adalyn was spoiled with chocolate over the Easter weekend, she now takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen cabinet where the chocolate is stored and says "chocate peas". I decided today that I would use this to my advantage! I told her that she can have chocolate after she sits on the potty ( I just wanted her to sit there for a minute to get the ball rolling on potty training, not even thinking she would even go!) So far this afternoon she has went pee pee three times in her potty! Wonderful! I left her diaperless for about an hour and right before I was about to put her down for a nap she told me she had to "poop"! I tried putting her on her potty to go, but she wanted her diaper back on and sure enough she did! I know that any childless friends reading this now probably can't fully grasp what a big deal this is, but imagine saving around $50 a month from diapers! Maybe we can now use the money saved for a romantic dinner for two??? Okay so I'm probably dreaming on that one, but there are endless possibilities!

Oh My! I said it!

I know that I am not the only stay at home mom out there that would like to lose a few lbs. by the summer, so I decided that if I'm going to succeed in this venture then I need to be held accountable. So this is where the whole blogging thing will come in handy I suppose. What made me decide to finally do this? Well, the normal reasons of course like fitting in a favorite pair of jeans or looking good in a bathing suit are all part of this decision, but the main reason is a crazy promise I made to my husband. I told him that I would like to fit into my wedding dress again by our anniversary on August 7th. We will be married for 6, yes 6 years! Time has sure flown by! In order to accomplish this I believe I would need to lose about 15 pounds, but I'm going to say 20 to be on the safe side, why not! Between having Adalyn and a very VERY stressful year last year and on top of that working in a restaurant at the time, I let my girlish figure get a way from me just a bit ;) Last summer/ fall I was doing pretty well and went from 196lbs. (OH MY! I said it) to a current 174lbs. After having healing from surgery in September and then the holidays came.... and went....and then the New Year is so cliche to begin dieting (those are my excuses and I'm sticking to them! ), so here we are in April and I feel like there aren't any more reasons not to get back on the wagon!

Just a funny/ sad aside: For Christmas by wonderful husband bought me an iPhone, which I absolutely love and I can't imagine life without it! Anyway, I came across an application called Fitness Pal. The application is a calorie counter and it asks you how many pounds a week you'd like to lose and you enter your activity level and it calculates how many calories a day you can consume to reach your goal. So here's the sad part... I wanted to see if I did absolutely no exercise and stuck to the allotted 1200 calories a day if I could lose 2 pounds a week! Yes I know this is ridiculous, but ... well there is no excuse, thus the confession people ;) Number One: I realized it was pretty much impossible to eat that few of calories and not be starving throughout the day and Number Two: I'm smart enough to realize that exercise is good for you and is something I do enjoy, once I make myself do it and get in the habit. Moral of the story: I will not only watch my calorie intake (Maybe more like 1500-1600 calories/day) AND I will exercise!

I LOVE to be outside, I am the type of person who literally could NOT live in places like Alaska.... I NEED the sunshine and fresh air, otherwise I would be so depressed and miserable! Fortunately, my boss a.k.a Adalyn, also loves to be outside! We are going to go for lots of walks and go to the park as often as possible! I'm also going to start going back to the gym for Bodypump, a class I used to do a lot, but for excuses listed above I haven't went. I am also being more mindful of processed foods and eating only whole grains and fresh fruits and vegetables and lots of water! Well I think I'll check in once a week and be accountable, so wish me luck and say a little prayer ;)

MRI results are in!

I went in this afternoon to get the results from my MRI on Friday. I was so nervous all day long, especially after Taylor told me last night how worried he was about it and on top of that a local funeral home sent me a survey about arranging funerals! Good grief that was not good timing AT ALL! lol But when we got to see my doctor, he didn't really tell us anything that we didn't already know, so that's great! The MRI showed a small little cyst on my right ovary, which is really no big deal because I'm prone to them and it's not causing me pain. It also showed a few areas on my lower left side where I have endometriosis, again I've already known that. The MRI confirmed that my right ovary and uterus are all functioning properly and that we would be able to have another baby if we decided to, but we would risk the baby being born prematurely like Adalyn. My left uterus was filled with some blood, which has no way of escaping if you know what I mean ;) It's possible that I've been in so much pain because that uterus keeps contracting harder and harder to get the fluid out, but it can't. Also, it could just be endometriosis on my muscles. I suppose it could be a little bit of both of those things, but who knows! Dr. Citty recommended that Taylor and I go see a Reproductive Endocrinologist in Little Rock on April 8th. He will be able to give us a better idea of what to do in our situation. Dr. Citty mentioned a possibility of developing uterine cancer in my left uterus due to the fluid irritating the lining, but he doesn't know much about it, thus the referral. The Reproductive Endocrinologist will also tell us what carrying another baby to full term would entail and any risks that would have. So in the mean time Dr. Citty has me on continuous birth control pills to keep me from more fluid building up and to keep my endometriosis in check. I really appreciate all of the prayers that have been sent our way and we are just so thankful to have wonderful friends and family! Love you all!

Our Trip to Garvan Gardens

We had a fun and relaxing weekend even though it seemed to go by so fast! On Friday morning I got up early to go to my MRI appointment at 7:30, which was very VERY early for me, but I survived. They did an MRI from the bottom of my rib cage through part of my thigh, so surely they should be able to find the source of the pain and he also did a MRI with contrast (they put a dye in my blood that will show up on the scans). He said that the contrast will highlight any possible tumors and/or infections, so if there is anything serious wrong it will definitely show up! I get my results on Monday at 3:00. so please keep the prayers coming :)

After I got home around 10:00, we planned on taking a trip down to Garvan Woodland Gardens in Hot Springs, AR for the Tulip Extravaganza. Taylor and I have been going there every year for the past 4 years, I believe. It is just such a beautiful place and I highly suggest going there if you ever have the chance! Here are a few pictures we took while we were there:

Adalyn last year at Garvan Gardens.

Adalyn this year at Garvan Gardens!

Adalyn Grace: 21 months old

Taylor and I :)

Last year when we went to Garvan Gardens, Adalyn was just learning to sit up on her own and this year she wanted to walk and run ALL by herself! It's amazing how much she has changed in just one year! We left the gardens around 2:30 and decided that we would make a stop by Papa and Nana's house on the way home. Usually they come with us to Garvan Gardens, but due to schedules this year they couldn't come. We enjoyed eating dinner and visiting with them and here is a pretty funny picture of Adalyn playing in their backyard...

We are looking forward to going to Coffeyville, Kansas to visit Clint, Sara, and Morgan for Easter this coming weekend! We are planning a trip to the Tulsa Zoo and spending time with their family! I hope that everyone has a wonderful week and I'll keep you posted on my MRI results!

So here we go...

I have never thought myself to be the blogging type, but I really enjoy following other people's blogs, so I decided to step into uncharted territory and give this whole blogging thing a whirl, so here we go! I'll probably need to warn you that the majority of these postings will be related to my sweet but oh so naughty 21 month old daughter, Adalyn, for the simple reason that I spend 99.9% of my time with her as a stay at home mom. I have been very blessed to have the opportunity to be at home with Adalyn for the past year. It was most definitely a tough decision, but this is by far the most rewarding "job" and the toughest I've ever had. She is at the age where she picks up on everything and by everything I mean EVERYTHING! I am known to have a wide variety of facial expressions, which apparently my sponge of a daughter had picked up on. Here is an example....She makes this face at least ten times a day, and the funny part is that she usually isn't mad when she does it. She thinks it's funny and will laugh immediately after! So this is pretty much a glimpse of what she sees when I'm telling her no! Oh my! She had also become a little rule enforcer in our home. If she sees me sitting on the coffee table, standing on a chair, or accidentally dropping food on the floor (all things she gets in trouble for) she has no problem telling me "No Ma'am"! Oh boy am I in trouble or what! lol

In other less exciting news, I finally get to have an MRI done on Friday morning! For those who don't know I had surgery in September to remove an ovarian cyst on my left ovary that was the size of a grapefruit! During the surgery, the doctor removed my left ovary and fallopian tube, but also discovered that instead of having a normal sized uterus I have two small uteruses. Yes I'm aware how crazy that is! So currently I have two uteruses, one ovary, and one kidney! Talk about backwards! During the surgery. he also found endometriosis (when uterine lining grows in other places beside the uterus)! Since about the beginning of last year I have been in quite a lot of pain on my left lower abdomen and back usually lasting around 2 weeks out of the month... NOT FUN! Pain medicines, heat, etc., nothing could even damper the pain I was feeling! So in the late summer, when the doctor discovered The Grapefruit, I could not wait to have it out and to get my life back! After the surgery, I was feeling pretty good, still had some pain (probably from the endometriosis), but nothing compared to what it was. Unfortunately, the past two or three months that awful pain is back, pretty much leaving my life up to how much pain I'm in that particular day. Sooo back to the doctor I go, and he pretty much has no idea what's going on, so we both concluded that an MRI should show us what is causing my pain. I get my MRI results on Monday afternoon, so I will keep you posted on the results! Please keep me in your prays that it's nothing too serious :)

Anyway, Adalyn and I spent the afternoon at the park with a group of friends from our church. We had an awesome time, even though it got a little chilly when the sun went behind the clouds and a bunch of unruly daycare kids basically took over the play ground :( We all were very grateful that we were able to stay home with our kiddos and not placed in this particular daycare.... what a nightmare! Well I think that wraps up my first posting, but there should be more to come so stay tuned ;)